"In the Vatican earlier today, two peace doves were viciously attacked by a crow and a seagull when they were set free by Pope Francis from a window at the Apostolic Palace. We've spent countless years of our precious time on this planet debating ... whether evil would triumph over good, whether the Dementors would eventually find us, and if birds—despite our blame in their pitiful helplessness—were actually hotblooded, malevolent predators searching fiendishly to corrupt their own.
It was confirmed today in St. Peter's Square that the search for these answers was over when the malicious crow and its seagull henchman overtook the two peace doves as a horrified group of children watched from the window. The children were young, impressionable, and are now likely ruined.
Blood dripping from its beak, the seagull repeatedly went after one dove, pecking and taunting it, while the crow chased after the other, its mouth agape, ready to impart a Dementor's kiss. The doves struggled beneath the grasps of their dark winged brethren, and it's clear from the images above and below who the real victor is: unforgiving evil and soulless villainy. A Hitchcock film brought to life, the scene shook the tens of thousands of people watching below, a reminder that birds are not only angry, they also cannot be trusted, a notion that has been supported since biblical times:
Has not my inheritance become to me like a speckled bird of prey that other birds of prey surround and attack? Go and gather all the wild beasts; bring them to devour. —Jeremiah 12:9
Prior to the fight, Pope Francis had prayed for peace in the Ukraine, where violent protests in Kiev turned deadly last week. Speaking from the palace, Pope Francis told the crowd below, 'I hope that a constructive dialogue between the institutions and civil society can take place, that any resort to violence is avoided and that the spirit of peace and a search for the common good is in the hearts of all.'"